A recipe for those extra special occasions-Rated PG-18

I’m too crabby to write a real post. Don’t judge me; it will be your turn soon enough.

On My Period Pie
Pie crust- graham, chocolate, shortbread whatever…it’s your period; I don’t pretend to know what your needs are.
Softened, high-quality ice cream- by high-quality I mean not crap: milk/cream, sugar, maybe eggs, chocolate, or nuts. Don’t screw up a perfectly decent pie with cheap, nasty ice cream.
Jar of Nutella
Two bananas
Package of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies
Toasted hazelnuts if you don’t live in a shitty town in the Midwest with NARY A SINGLE DECENT GROCERY STORE WITH HAZELNUTS WITHIN 150 FRICKIN’ MILES.
Whipped cream if you are into that

Spread layer of Nutella over the bottom and sides of pie crust. Slice and layer bananas over the Nutella. Smoosh ice cream over banana layer.

Smash Milano cookies and hazelnuts to pieces. Sprinkle on top. Drizzle melted Nutella, criss-crossing the pie…would it kill you make something pretty once in a while?

Put back in freezer for a few hours to solidify. Or eat it now. I don’t care.

Calcium, Potassium, Magnesium, Fiber, Vitamin E, Folate, Protein, and Iron and you get to smash something in the process. But let’s face it…that’s all irrelevant and pointless. Just make the damn thing.

And you thought you were getting some schmaltzy, romantic dinner recipe. Please. Try to touch me and you’ll pull back a stump.

I'M DOING IT!!! I AM DOING IT RIGHT NOW.......GO!

I have taken the day off to prepare for mushroom hunting after 1:00 pm (end of turkey hunting shooting hours). I have two hours to power clean,jacked up on coffee and sugar, music blaring...just shake the debris off of 3 rooms, ignoring daily chores like dishes and laundry sorting and folding. And the Frau is trying to convince me that now is the time to empty the closet, vacuum it, pull winter-insert-summer clothes, and dust mop. Also, the blaring music makes me want to ignore it all and sing and play guitar to Rico and the dust bunnies. Oy! What do I do, fellow fraus?

GO!!