I’m too crabby to write a real post. Don’t judge me; it will be your turn soon enough…or not…bitch.
On My Period Pie
Pie crust- graham, chocolate, shortbread whatever…it’s your period; I don’t pretend to know what your needs are.
Softened, high-quality ice cream- by high-quality I mean not crap: milk/cream, sugar, maybe eggs, chocolate, or nuts. Don’t fuck up a perfectly decent pie with cheap, nasty-ass ice cream.
Jar of Nutella
Package of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies
Toasted hazelnuts if you don’t live in a shitty town in the Midwest with NARY A SINGLE DECENT GROCERY STORE WITH HAZELNUTS WITHIN 150 FRICKIN’ MILES.
Whipped cream if you are into that
Spread layer of Nutella over the bottom and sides of pie crust. Slice and layer bananas over the Nutella. Smoosh ice cream over banana layer.
Smash Milano cookies and hazelnuts to pieces. Sprinkle on top. Drizzle melted Nutella, criss-crossing the pie…would it kill you make something pretty once in a while?
Put back in freezer for a few hours to solidify. Or eat it now. I don’t care.
Calcium, Potassium, Magnesium, Fiber, Vitamin E, Folate, Protein, and Iron and you get to smash something in the process. But let’s face it…that’s all irrelevant and pointless. Just make the damn thing.
And you thought you were getting some schmaltzy, romantic dinner recipe. Please. Try to touch me and you’ll pull back a stump.