Thursday, September 23, 2010

A recipe for those extra special occasions-Rated PG-18

I’m too crabby to write a real post. Don’t judge me; it will be your turn soon enough.

On My Period Pie
Pie crust- graham, chocolate, shortbread whatever…it’s your period; I don’t pretend to know what your needs are.
Softened, high-quality ice cream- by high-quality I mean not crap: milk/cream, sugar, maybe eggs, chocolate, or nuts. Don’t screw up a perfectly decent pie with cheap, nasty ice cream.
Jar of Nutella
Two bananas
Package of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies
Toasted hazelnuts if you don’t live in a shitty town in the Midwest with NARY A SINGLE DECENT GROCERY STORE WITH HAZELNUTS WITHIN 150 FRICKIN’ MILES.
Whipped cream if you are into that

Spread layer of Nutella over the bottom and sides of pie crust. Slice and layer bananas over the Nutella. Smoosh ice cream over banana layer.

Smash Milano cookies and hazelnuts to pieces. Sprinkle on top. Drizzle melted Nutella, criss-crossing the pie…would it kill you make something pretty once in a while?

Put back in freezer for a few hours to solidify. Or eat it now. I don’t care.

Calcium, Potassium, Magnesium, Fiber, Vitamin E, Folate, Protein, and Iron and you get to smash something in the process. But let’s face it…that’s all irrelevant and pointless. Just make the damn thing.

And you thought you were getting some schmaltzy, romantic dinner recipe. Please. Try to touch me and you’ll pull back a stump.


Sara said...

hehehehehehe... julie explained the story of how you waltzed in, complaining and unloaded all the ingredients. I laughed. And it was yummy. =D

Laura Mullane said...

Jesus, you make me laugh. I'm reposting to FB. Don't say I never did anything for you. By the way, I have a Mirena IUD, so I don't have a period anymore. Take that, bitchez.